Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop: Part 12

When I arrived home, I decided to forget about work and Perry. I started looking for a new job. With my laptop on my knees, I searched CareerBuilder.com and all of the other job finder websites I had stored on my browser. I knew my days were numbered at the plantation. Hell, I was tired of the Triangle to be perfectly honest. It wasn’t a secret that I didn’t fit in here. I wasn’t that much of an intellectual to hang out with the University crowd. And I wasn’t bougie enough for proper black society in the area. 

Maybe I needed another change. Not just a new job but a new city as well. Charlotte was looking good to me. But what about Rich? What if there was something real there?

            I'm just being silly, I told myself as I closed the top on my laptop. Had I been in a better mindset, I would've recognized my attraction to Rich had been about his similarities to Shun. He had the same touch of asshole that I'd ignored for too long. I would've been honest about the bad choices I've always made when it came to love. 

Take the reason why I lost my virginity in the first place. I had been an 18-year-old virgin. Most of my high school romances ended because I wouldn't give up the booty. As graduation grew near, I decided that I hadn't wanted to be one of those college freshmen horror stories. I wasn't going to be the girl, who'd get fooled by an upperclassman during orientation, give him some ass only to be dropped when his real girlfriend returned to campus. I hated football players and frat boys because of the stories I'd heard.

            So, what did I do?

            I had sex with the boy who'd dumped me three weeks earlier because I wouldn't have sex with him. My parents had been out of town and I had the house to myself. Initially, I thought about trying to do something like light candles and spray perfume on a couple of scarves then drape them on the lamps like I'd seen in some romantic comedy. Then I realized something, this wasn't a romantic movie. I thought, if I had sex then, I'd get the curiosity out of my system and then I'd be able to wait for marriage like my mother had always told me to do. I had to be the most naive virgin in America. But when we got down to the act, the naivety went out the door.

Worst. Three. Minutes. Ever! All I could think at the time had been, is this it? This is what causes fights, tears and stalker behavior? Looking at my mate, I thought I’d been robbed, cheated and when Nate –which was his name—asked me to fix him some chicken; I wanted to choke the hell out of him.

“What?” I’d asked. He slapped my behind and repeated his ridiculous request.

“Get out,” I snapped.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked as he locked his hands behind his head. “This is what a woman is supposed to do for her man.”

“You’re not my man and was that supposed to be something special? By the time I took my tee shirt off it was over.”

“I thought you said this was your first time? There is no way this was your first time. You were too wet.”

“Are you serious? Why would I lie about my virginity? Get out.” I punched him as hard as I could in his chest, leapt out of the bed and tossed his clothes at him.

Who knew this would be a scene that would play out in my life over and over again. Now, I was tired of that shit. So, in the back of my mind, I said I was going to make things work with Richard, until I found a job in Charlotte.