Search This Blog

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

If Chris Brown were my nephew

There's a certain relationship that aunties and nephews have. It's special because auntie loves you and auntie will "tell it like it is." If you have younger aunts, she'll even help smooth things out with your mom or dad when you mess up.
I'm lucky, I have three nephews and a niece. Since my brother is 12 years older than me and my sister is six years my senior, when they got married to their spouses and started having kids, I was a young teen, 15 to be exact. In a way, I grew up with my nephews and my niece. Sometimes with us, the line is blurred as to when I'm being auntie and when I'm playing around with them. But that line has NEVER been crossed.

My niece is lucky, the only girl grandchild, the ranks close around her at the slightest problem-- especially her grandfather. But that's a whole 'nother post. My nephews, three smart, handsome and respectful young men haven't caused any real trouble. A speeding ticket is the closest interaction with the police they've ever had. We're lucky.

But somewhere, Chris Brown has an aunt that is or should be going out of her damned mind right now.
We all know what happened two years ago, Brown beat then girlfriend Rihanna before the Grammys.
Today, Brown went on Good Morning America and Robin Roberts brought the topic up again.
Brown looked uncomfortable answering the questions and kept trying to bring the focus back to his new album.
After the interview, all hell broke loose. This is when his Aunt Cheris would've stepped in.
Son: You're in a network studio and you're trying to tell people to look at what you're doing now and not your past. Boy, if you don't put that damned chair down, I'm going to do what your mama should've done--whoop your ass. (When auntie threatens to beat her nephew, it gets his attention.)
Next, I would've taken his phone away. Stay off the Twitter (yes, the Twitter) until you calm down. You know the media is going to blow whatever you tweet out of proportion. And while you're at it, give me the iPad and laptop too.
"I'm so over people bringing up the past shit up!!! Yet we praise Charlie sheen and other celebs for there bullshit."
That's what he tweeted, then quickly removed it.
If his Auntie would've seen that, she had the obligation and duty to tell him in NO UNCERTAIN terms, Boo, you are not Charlie Sheen. Brown has made himself a target because he's young and emotional. He got into a Twitter beef with some has-been boy band member and TMZ was all over it. (He needed his auntie then too.)
Finally, I'd tell Chris to fire everyone who's working for him because they don't have his best interests at heart. It's time to stop answering questions about Rihanna. You were WRONG to put your hands on that girl, but you were punished and did what your were ordered to do by the judge. You stay away from her and keep doing well.
And then, auntie would've talked a lot of junk about Robin Roberts and how she softballed Tiger Woods and his wayward dick. Then I would've taken my nephew to Starbucks, but he would've had to pay for having me up so damned early in the morning.

PS: I'd get that blond mess out of his head, too!


Wheel Appeal said...

Love this, agree with this. What ever happened to his former girlfriend is in the past. That's not giving him a pass because he's paid his debt. Rihanna seems to be taking all of this in stride, considering she's benefited the most from this. That's not a dig, but it's true. Chris Brown needs to say, I will not answer any questions about my past. It's over and done.
Honestly, I really thought Rihanna was after Joe Camel, anyway.

CherisH said...

HA! I think she still is.