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Friday, June 2, 2017

Like my exes, live action DC movies just keep letting me down

Nobody wanted to love Wonder Woman more than me. As I'm writing this, I'm sipping iced tea from a Wonder Woman cup.

But DC's live action Wonder Woman just has me wondering why do I keep doing this to myself?!

Batman, Wonder Woman, Superman, Supergirl and the Flash are my top super heroes. So, after watching that amazing 2009 Wonder Woman animated movie, I had high expectations for this new movie.

Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman saved Batman v. Superman. When she came to fight, she brought it.
I forgave  DC pretty quickly for not casting  Lynda Carter in this movie. I mean, you look at Ms. Carter and you see Wonder Woman.
But I digress. This movie was more woman than wonder. And it pissed me off. Wonder Woman is actually one of the most powerful women in any superhero universe. She would beat the hell out of Black Widow. Fight me. 
This Wonder Woman seemed immature and naive. She also seemed a little more impressed by a penis than an Amazon should've been. 

This Wonder Woman needed help to fight.
If the world could handle their business, then Wonder Woman could've stayed right there on Paradise Island with her mama. Give me a break. Name a male hero who had to have a squad of mortals to kick ass. Go ahead, name one.

I was not impressed. I wanted to be. I hoped to be. I'd read all the good reviews and I was ready. My heartaches. 
The origin story sucked to me. When did the Amazons start praising Zeus? 
Diana as a kid needed her ass whooped, princess or not. 
The female villain in this movie was wasted. 
But on a positive note, at least Wonder Woman fought in sensible shoes!