I'm 40 years old. And I don't have children. Guess what, I don't want any.
People often ask me, why don't you have kids?
I smile and keep it moving, but I'm going to go ahead and let you nosy mofos know what I've kept my womb empty all of the years.
1. I'm the youngest in my family. My first nephew came when I was in the seventh grade. A cute little boy who I promptly dropped when he was about six months old. Oops. Also, the first person to ever piss on me. That was 1989.
Then, in 1991 came my second nephew. When he was born he had a cone head. I was scared. But, his grandmothers knew what to do to round his head out. I dropped him as well. He also pissed on me.
2. I make bad relationship choices. We're not even going to talk about the dude who got married on me while sending me roses and confessing his love. Fuck him today, tomorrow and forever. What if I had gotten pregnant with his child?
3. My father's children are all married, except me. They should have kids. I can not raise a child without making sure she or he has the relationship with her or his father that I have with mine. Y'all know my pops is my hero. And yes, I'd be that mother to tell her child that "Yo' daddy ain't shit." I know my limitations.
4. Conceiving is going to be really hard for me. Without telling all of my medical business, I have some reproductive issues that would make me having a child become a multimillion dollar under taking. No. Thank. You. Because if I spend that kind of money to become a mother, you can best believe I'm protecting my investment like a motherfucker.
So, here's the deal, stop asking why I don't have kids. And I was never that little girl who wanted baby dolls to pretend she was a mother. I wanted Barbie and Ken dolls so they could have sex. Besides, baby sitting for my brother and sister proved to me that I'm not motherhood material. I'm good with being the coolest auntie in world.
Besides, nephews and nieces are the kids you can spoil and return to their parents.