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Thursday, July 15, 2010

Keeping it real


Real is defined by Webster’s as: not artificial, fraudulent, or illusory: genuine.
Put this in front of the word friend and you’re supposed to have something strong and forever.
Well, I’ve found out that isn’t always true. Friendships change, people change and not always for the best.

But here’s what I know, there are things that a real friend wouldn’t do and shouldn’t even have to ask.

Example number one:
If you can go seven months without noticing that you haven’t talked to someone, y’all are not real friends.
Even with Facebook, Twitter and MySpace, real friends talk on the phone. Maybe not everyday because this isn’t high school and we’re older now. Some of us have kids, husbands, boyfriends, ex-husbands and court orders — still a seven-month lag in have a real conversation signals that you’re an unobservant bitch friend or not real at all.

Example number two:
There are questions that a real friend doesn’t even need to ask.
Is “Kevin” your off limits ex? Let’s see, I cried, whined, and went ape shit about this man (no matter how many years ago) and you were right there with advice, telling me I can do better and wiping those tear away with a cup of coffee in your right hand. So, 10 years later you think it’s all right to ask me if it would be all right to pursue something with him — and you do it in a text message? A real friend wouldn’t have needed to ask that question and a real friend would’ve picked up the phone. (Just see example number one)

It doesn’t matter that you’ve known someone since kindergarten, you grow apart and you realize that person isn’t your real friend. Sometimes losing a friend can be painful, but think of it in this way:
You’re moving on to something better and everyone isn’t meant to go on that journey.
Trying to keep certain people in your life will halt your growth. Just ask Michael Vick, MC Hammer and a number of other people who tried to put everyone on their back as they moved forward. Some people should be forgotten and if you fall into that category, I really don’t care if you understand or not. 

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