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Sunday, September 29, 2013

Everything I learned about dating, I learned from Soap Operas. . .That's why I'm single

The older I get, the more people ask questions about my love life. It's as if a woman over 30 has to be married, engaged, pregnant or already a mother for her life to be meaningful.
And then there's the fact that I write romance novels.

Girl, don't you have a man? Well, if I hear that question one time, I'm going to slap somebody.  But, who wants an assault charge because she hit Ms. Mary from the church?

So I have a surefire way to stop all of these questions.

Number one:
  Because I'm secretly Catwoman and I'm waiting for Batman to come and make my life better.
 Number two: Everything I learned about dating, I learned from watching Victor and Nikki on The Young and The Restless. I just can't find a man rich enough and dramatic enough to make me want to be in a relationship.
Number three: Not old enough to be a cougar yet. I want to combine a relationship with motherhood without the stretch marks.
Number four: My parents like everyone that I date, what is the fun in that?
Number five: No one understands my book collection!
Number six: All of the baristas in Starbucks are women I can't date a man who doesn't love coffee!
And finally, number seven: You have all these questions, but do you have a man in your back pocket for me?

There's nothing wrong with being single. There's nothing wrong with being 36 and single! The problem is, we live in a society where women have to follow rules that don't apply to men. A 36-year-old man who is single, has no kids, and has a career is the man! A woman in that same situation; hey, something must be wrong with her.


I tell you what though, I'm not making any damn sandwiches to get no engagement ring! Okay, rant over.


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