Ashley Speaks: Y'all Y'all Y'all
Y'all... Y'all... Y'all...
If you glance at my profile pic you know I'm a thick'ems. And honestly, though I have my insecure days, overall, I wear my weight proudly. It took a lot for me to get to a point where I could love myself and the body I'm in. That being said, the body I'm in isn't exactly loving me, so before something bad happens, I decided to get to a healthy weight that isn't on that BMI chart. Because that mess will have me looking like a strung out meth head looking for a fix. I'm 5'1 -and a half thank you very much - and I think getting to 155 would be a good weight for my body type.
Now Ashley, why are you telling me all this boring mess?
Well I'm glad you asked reader! I said all of that to say, those fit folks - you know the ones that get up at 4:45 every morning to go for a 5 mile run. Then, they get home and have the audacity to eat some nuts and freaking berries while I'm over here chomping on blueberry pancakes, scrambled eggs, maple sausage, cheesy grits and fried catfish. You know the ones who love to talk about how good life is because they don't eat things like McDonalds or Pizza Hut? You know the ones who cry about being fat just so you can tell them how good they look? Yeah, those ones! Well, they lie. They lie like a penny in the parking lot of a grocery store (thanks The Band Perry for that line. Oan: that was an endorsement so I expect free tickets to your next concert... We'll discuss restrictions later). That thing they call endorphins. You know it kicks in when you do drugs and theoretically when you exercise? That mess doesn't happen.
There is no happy feeling. Not unless you want to count the feeling of pure elation when my body collapses in the middle of the floor when I'm done.
Now don't you dare try to tell me I have to give it more time before I feel the benefits. This chick used to be that "fit person" - minus the 5 mile run cause your chick does not run unless Derek Luke is in front of me ready to quit his wife and live a happily ever after lifestyle between my thighs - that I described. I was between a size 8-10 depending on where I shopped. And I never felt those mythical endorphins. I forgot about how much I hated working out before I started.
It's been a few weeks and my body is loving me now but God knows, I hate it with the fire a thousand suns.
Well, again, I'm probably over my word limit. If you haven't noticed, I'm long winded, like a preacher on Sunday morning after he had a REALLY bad week. I'm going to try to work on that. Peace out for now. Much love to all.