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Sunday, June 23, 2013

Waiting For The Other Shoe to Drop: Part 34

When Imade it to David’s place, I was overwrought. Looking over my shoulder everytime I heard a noise, felt a breeze or just felt as if something was lurking inthe shadows. I jumped, ready to pounce. Taking the elevator up to David’s, Iwondered what had I done to deserve this bullshit? Not to whine and pretendthat I’m Miss Innocent. But Karma – haven’t I suffered enough?
Before Icould knock on the door, David opened it. Normally, I would’ve hugged andkissed my man. Something was different and I didn’t want my lips anywhere onhim.
“What’sgoing on, Mimi?”
I threwthe note under his nose. “How about you tell me? What’s going on with you andthis bitch, David?”
“Nothing,not now anyway.”
“Not.Now. Anyway?! The fuck does that mean?”
“You needto calm down,” he said and looked at me as if I were a stranger. As if I wasthe one who had let another man fuck me and stalk him. He was the motherfuckingstranger. He was the one who made me an unwilling participant in a ménage atrois. And I needed to calm down?
“Calm down? Tell me this, if the shoe was on the other foot and you weregetting notes on your car – what would you do?”
“Mimi. ..”
“Answerthe damned question,” I boomed. “This shit, right here, the lying, thestalking, the hoes in hiding, I don’t do this very well and I’m not doing thiswith you.”
This motherfuckershrugged. You know the kind of shrug you get when you ask -- French fries or onionring. Oh. Hell. No! I stopped moving, breathing and for a second my heartstopped. “Fine.” I started for the door. I wasn’t going to give him a chance tosee the tears of disappointment and anger that welled up in my eyes.
“Wait,”he said. “I don’t know what to tell you.”
I whirledaround, my cheek flaming with white hot hate. “Try the truth. Want me to definethat for you because you seem to be having a problem with it.”
“You andme, I never expected this. Never knew I was going to come back home to find you. . .”
“Then thenote is true? You came back for that bitch? Was I a speed bump, David?”
“No, notat all. Just damn. I fucked up, OK.”
My mindscreamed, it’s not OK. The tears fell, I couldn’t hold them back and I couldn’thide my pain from him. I felt like one of those spaghetti spine heroine in an eighties Lifetime movie. Get ittogether, Mimi! “That’s all you got?”
“Whatelse do you want? I’m sorry, I can’t change the past. I was selfish andungrateful.”
“You knowwhat you are?” Even I was surprised by the calmness in my voice. “You’re asnake ass bastard. You made me believe in you because you said I don’t lie. Yousaid you had nothing to hide and I believed you.”
“Mimi, I didn’t mean  . . .”
“To GETCAUGHT! You didn’t mean for your porky jump off to stalk me. And you surelydidn’t mean for me to find out that I was fucking community dick.”
My mamaalways told me to keep my hands to myself and in that moment, I wished thatlesson hadn’t stuck. I wanted nothing more than to pick up David’s lamp andbash his face in. Selfish. Ungrateful. Bastard.
“I ain’tshit,” he whispered. “I never meant to hurt you.”
I neededhim to stop talking. I couldn’t listen to any more excuses. You don’t accidentallyhurt people. It’s a choice. He made his choice and I was making mine. I wasgoing to walk away. Storming out of the front door, it became clear to me thatI’m a girl who should walk alone with a pocket full of rechargeable batteries. IfI do a relationship wrong, I end up alone. If I do a relationship right, I endup alone.

I could’veforgiven David and tried to rebuild the trust. Walking out on him had been thehardest decision I could make, but what choice did I have? This drama was forthe fucking birds. But if that bitch touched my car again, I’d shoot her heftyass.

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