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Thursday, January 3, 2013

Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop: Part 12

When I arrived home, I decided to forget about work and Perry. I started looking for a new job. With my laptop on my knees, I searched and all of the other job finder websites I had stored on my browser. I knew my days were numbered at the plantation. Hell, I was tired of the Triangle to be perfectly honest. It wasnt a secret that I didnt fit in here. I wasnt that much of an intellectual to hang out with the University crowd. And I wasnt bougie enough for proper black society in the area. 

Maybe I needed another change. Not just a new job but a new city as well. Charlotte was looking good to me. But what about Rich? What if there was something real there?
            I'm just being silly, I told myself as I closed the top on my laptop. Had I been in a better mindset, I would've recognized my attraction to Rich had been about his similarities to Shun. He had the same touch of asshole that I'd ignored for too long. I would've been honest about the bad choices I've always made when it came to love. 

Take the reason why I lost my virginity in the first place. I had been an 18-year-old virgin. Most of my high school romances ended because I wouldn't give up the booty. As graduation grew near, I decided that I hadn't wanted to be one of those college freshmen horror stories. I wasn't going to be the girl, who'd get fooled by an upperclassman during orientation, give him some ass only to be dropped when his real girlfriend returned to campus. I hated football players and frat boys because of the stories I'd heard.
            So, what did I do?
            I had sex with the boy who'd dumped me three weeks earlier because I wouldn't have sex with him. My parents had been out of town and I had the house to myself. Initially, I thought about trying to do something like light candles and spray perfume on a couple of scarves then drape them on the lamps like I'd seen in some romantic comedy. Then I realized something, this wasn't a romantic movie. I thought, if I had sex then, I'd get the curiosity out of my system and then I'd be able to wait for marriage like my mother had always told me to do. I had to be the most naive virgin in America. But when we got down to the act, the naivety went out the door.
Worst. Three. Minutes. Ever! All I could think at the time had been, is this it? This is what causes fights, tears and stalker behavior? Looking at my mate, I thought Id been robbed, cheated and when Nate which was his nameasked me to fix him some chicken; I wanted to choke the hell out of him.
What? Id asked. He slapped my behind and repeated his ridiculous request.
Get out, I snapped.
Whats wrong with you? he asked as he locked his hands behind his head. This is what a woman is supposed to do for her man.
Youre not my man and was that supposed to be something special? By the time I took my tee shirt off it was over.
I thought you said this was your first time? There is no way this was your first time. You were too wet.
Are you serious? Why would I lie about my virginity? Get out. I punched him as hard as I could in his chest, leapt out of the bed and tossed his clothes at him.
Who knew this would be a scene that would play out in my life over and over again. Now, I was tired of that shit. So, in the back of my mind, I said I was going to make things work with Richard, until I found a job in Charlotte.

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