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Thursday, April 4, 2013

If Mark Sanford can revive his political career, there's hope for me yet

Stevie Wonder sang about skeletons in your closet. I'm willing to admit I have quite a few. And I've always been under the impression that I would never be able to run for public office because of some questionable things I've done.

Thank you Mark Sanford, you've given me hope. I mean, the former governor of South Carolina -- who made hike the Appalachian Trail mean I'm out sleeping with my mistress in Argentina -- left the state house in disgrace is poised to return to Washington.

Standing by his side is the woman he spent tax dollars to go see while he was married to his ex Jenny. The woman who he sent the sappiest emails -- filled with purple prose -- to. Yeah, if his political career can be revived after all of that, then who cares that I pull the tags from mattresses and pillows? Does it matter that I got so drunk in college one night that I thought I'd broken my friend's car because I didn't know how to unlock the door?

I've cheated -- on an introduction to criminal justice exam -- but I didn't spend tax dollars to go sleep with a woman in another country.  Vote for me.
I've called in sick to a job just because I needed to stay home and finish revisions on a manuscript, but I didn't claim to be hiking the Appalachian Trail on Father's Day while my kids were at home. Vote for me.

Maybe it is time for me to move back to South Carolina and run for governor,  mayor of my hometown or a US Senate or house of representative seat. Sure, I don't have any experience, but I'm not Alvin Greene either.

One word of caution, Maria dear, there's an old saying in South Carolina -- the way you get him is the way you lose him.

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